WR MarySue Madness
by Ghani-Chan
Summary: Crazy oneshot with a MarySue character. Rating for mild violence and extreme censored language.


Disclaimer: NOT meant to offend anyone, being a serious fic writer meself. WR is soooo not mine. Neither is the Matrix.

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Minahia Zephyer looked out at the black as night night sky. It made her think of her dead mother, her dead father, her two dead sisters, and her dead second cousin who all died in a tragic string of events when she was just a pup. She looked at the ring that had been left to her through her family's line. It said something, something she could not quite make out. She traced the letters with one blonde paw. Would she ever know what it meant? Suddenly, she caught the scent of more wolves from down the hill.

"I should go see if they need help! I really don't know why they would…," suddenly the author appears—"Minahia! Stop acting rational and get your butt down that hill!"

Minahia sighs in an overtly sexy manner, because that's just how she sighs, and continues. "_BUT _as I am a wolf and they are wolves, I must go."

MEANWHILE….

The five wolves are all staring at each other intently, as they have all been romantically involved with each other over the course of their journey. Cheza is kind of just trailing behind because she's never involved with anyone.

"I can't take it anymore!" shouted Blue as she runs into a wall trying to watch all the other wolves at once.

"What?" Toboe asked her while keeping his eye on Tsume.

"Well, I don't know if I'm the only one, but, all this staring is making it really hard to walk."

"Blue's right. I think we should all stop to rest so that Mary-Sue character can catch up to us and join our ragtag band of couples so the jealous fur can start flying--" Tsume said while reading ahead in the script. This earns him a swift reprimand from the author.

Mumbles of agreement are heard.

"Anyhow, I know we all have to catch up on our constant making out," Kiba says while glaring at Blue, who rolls her eyes.

"How come we haven't had any lines yet?" Hige asks the author while motioning to Toboe. Cheza seems to have completely disappeared.

"Never mind that, just pretend I'm not here." The author says with some distaste for Hige's outfit.

The wolves sit down, and try to think of some small talk as the story will not have any interesting parts until Minahia shows up.

"Ummmm... so… Blue… I do really like your boots," says Hige.

Blue starts messing with the zipper.

"Stop!" The author screeches. She glares at the characters. "If you keep acting so boring, the readers will lose interest! Read your scripts or something."

The scripts are pulled out. Toboe and Tsume have to share one, because Tsume threw his in the creek.

**_FLASHBACK_**

Tsume starts laughing crazily. Toboe is in tears because he can't find Tsume's script.

"What's so f**-----** funny!" He shouts angrily at Tsume.

"I took the f**-----**script and I threw it in the f**-----** creek! It was completely f----- useless!" Tsume yells back.

"How f----- could you? HOW F----- COULD YOU! You NEEDED the f----- SCRIPT!"

"Why don't you just turn that f-----camera off! Your making a fckng documentary on the f----- Blair Witch! Not f----- on me forgetting my f----- lines because I f----- threw my script in the f-----creek!"

**_FLASHFORWARD_**

"I still think it was stupid for you to throw it in the cree--"

"Shut up Toboe"

Suddenly, a psycho-flaming-slash-hater appears who is infuriated that Tsume and Toboe are sharing a script!

"THATS SIK! EWWW! IM A TOBOY FNA AND HES MINE!" She screeches in a twelve-year-old rage.

Blue recites from the script. "In case of psycho-flaming-slash hater or other 'threat' do not respond, but instead say 'OMFG! WE'RE DOOOOMED FOR SURE' and look scared"

Minahia leaps from the shadow with confident Mary-Sue prowess. "Do Not Fear! For I am Minahia Zephyer and will crush your enemies with one flick of my powerful but vulnerable wrist!"

"HEEEYAHH!" She yells while doing an over the top, Matrix (Keanu Reeves says: "Always trademark for a happy story!") style kick that slightly exposes her thong underwear!

"How come when you kick stuff that doesn't happen?" Toboe asks Blue, who promptly kicks his head.

"I'm to fast." Blue says with a smile. "And I wear shorts under this coat."

_Oh great,_ thinks the author, _now I have to do something to get focus back to Minahia!_

The psycho-flaming-slash-hater's head explodes with the impact, and Minahia has to take of her shirt from the blood splatter.

"God..." she mutters under her breath. "Damn my Mary-Sue-ness!"

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!"

"What the hell was that!" yells Tsume, who was distracted from reading an ill-written slash fic on his laptop.

Kiba points at Mel Gibson, who has just shown up in a last minute effort to get the author laughs.

"UHHH! How come I can never do ANYTHING without stupid MEL GIBSON showing up!" The author screams in a homicidal rage. "Just ONCE I'd like to write a comedy fic WITHOUT him in it at the end for a last ditch effort for laughs! JUST ONCE!"

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End Note: Hope you all enjoyed that! I needed to write something to get me out of the rut I'm in. But don't fear, I will be back to writing my other stuff soon! 


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